Duh'isms

(Chicago, IL) Maybe you have a teammate who is a master at stating the obvious. Or you're attending a conference and hear someone belch the most inane answer to a question that was intended to go a little deeper. These are duh'isms, a term I first read on Guy Kawasaki's blog about how to kick butt on a panel, blog.guykawasaki.com.

How can you avoid duh'isms in your daily life, and thereby forego people concluding that you're dense, ignorant, or just plain duh'm?

1. LISTEN WITH YOUR FULL PRESENCE. Most people don't listen well. Instead, they spend time thinking about what they're going to say next. I did this last weekend at a board retreat. I was so intent on making my point about women's athletics that I interjected my commentary before the subject was raised on the agenda. My comments were out of context and I looked like a complete moron. Why did that happen? Because I was making a grocery list for the next day's brunch instead of listening closely to the meeting proceedings. Put away your Blackberry. Close your Moleskine. Lean over the table and listen to your dialogue partners.

2. ADMIT WHEN/WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW. "I don't know" are three elegant little words. They: (A) get you off the hook for having to know everything; (B) allow you to learn, if you choose to research the answer; (C) give you an opportunity to add value to the conversation after it's ended if you choose to follow up with the person who stumped you.

3. CLARIFY. If you don't understand what's being asked or said, you will probably botch your response. Last fall, I was lost while driving to a meeting. I called the husband of one of the attendees, thinking he'd have the address. He did. He told me the meeting was at the "Redemptress Retreat Center." I heard "Red Empress Retreat Center" and spent the next 30 minutes driving around looking for a sign with a scarlet, asian female motiv. Save yourself the time and headaches of a duh'ism by asking to have the statement or question repeated, asked a different way, or spelled-out. This is not a waste of time. It's a noble effort to better understand our conversation partners.

Duh!